Choosing Who You Want to Be – The First Step to Crafting Your Character

 The most important step in becoming who you want to be is choosing who you want to be. While it sounds simple, this choice is foundational and often overlooked. In my new book, Craft Your Character, I share the seven steps I discovered on my own journey to becoming my true self.

Why Choosing Matters

It’s surprising how many of us go through life without questioning the path we’re on. We often operate on unconscious programs formed in childhood, rarely pausing to ask if the life we’re living aligns with our authentic selves.

For me, growing up meant playing football, excelling academically, and envisioning a future in a corporate career. These ambitions seemed natural at the time, but when I started reflecting, I realised they weren’t truly mine. I questioned whether my dreams of playing county football for Meath or succeeding in IT were driven by personal passion or by a need for external validation - whether they stemmed from my own desires or from wanting to make my father and others proud.

It took years of self-discovery to understand that many of my decisions were rooted in a fear of not being good enough. I believed achievement would earn me love and acceptance. This realisation led me to reimagine my life and connect with a deeper sense of purpose.

From the Head to the Heart

A key part of this journey is shifting from making decisions with your head to connecting with your heart. In today’s world, we’re often stuck in our minds, relying on logic to make all of our decisions and living in the narrow confines of societal expectations. But our minds are like computers—they are full of programs in the form of thoughts and beliefs and these thoughts and beliefs don’t always reflect our true selves.

To discover who you truly are, you need to connect with your heart. In many traditions, the heart is said to be the seat of the soul. By tapping into this deeper space, you can uncover what really matters to you and align your choices with your authentic self.

Finding Yourself and Creating Yourself

As George Bernard Shaw once said, “Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself.” Personally, I believe life is a mix of both. By looking inward, we discover who we are at our core. At the same time, we have the power to craft the person we want to become by choosing to embody qualities and traits we admire.

We are both finding ourselves underneath all of the old subconscious patterns and programming and we are creating ourselves to be the man or woman we know we are capable of becoming.

A Process of Reflection

The first step of Craft Your Character focuses on choosing who you want to be. This involves self-reflection exercises to uncover your values, passions, and the life you want to lead. It’s about asking yourself questions like:

• What do I truly want to do, be, and have?
• Are my dreams authentically mine, or are they shaped by external expectations?
• What qualities do I admire in others, and how can I cultivate them in myself?

These exercises build on themes from my previous book, Discover Your Destination, but they also lay the groundwork for crafting your unique character.

A Journey Worth Taking

Every person’s journey is unique. While my book offers guidance, exercises, and stories to help navigate the process, it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution. Instead, it’s a framework to help you make sense of the often confusing, scary, and challenging journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

If you’re ready to begin crafting your character, I invite you to check out the book. You can find it on the Wolf Academy Books page www.wolfacademy.ie/books.  I’d love to hear your thoughts and feedback—feel free to share your comments or reach out directly.

Your journey is yours to shape. Start by choosing who you want to be.